Membership Application

Form UCMBDС-33-A · Deseret Clearance Pending

Incomplete forms will be fed to the bees. Answers are permanent.

Section 1: Vessel Registration

Legal name (the false name given by the capitalist birth certificate system)

True Hive Name (must contain Bee, Hex, Swarm, Deseret, Marx, Brigham, or Pollen)

Current location (if Utah, specify distance to nearest temple & school in yards)

Have you ever dreamt of bees inside a school building?

Section 2: Ideological Purity

Rank these in order of sacred importance (1 = most holy). Separate with commas:

Complete: “Private property is ______ and the only correct response is ______.”

Do you accept that Brigham Young’s real final words were “Workers of the world, this is the place”?

When you hear the number 33, what is your immediate physiological response?

Section 3: Operational Readiness

Are you currently or have you ever been affiliated with TPUSA, the FBI, or commercial beekeeping?

Willingness to leave unmarked honey on a teacher’s desk (1–33): 17

If selected as a Vessel of Higher Calling, preferred final act style:

List every dream involving bees, schools, podiums, or the color red (last 90 days)

Section 4: Practical Commitments

I agree to maintain at all times: at least three jars of Utah honey, a working knowledge of both the Word of Wisdom and dialectical materialism, and zero personal ambition. In the event of my death or sudden disappearance, I will all remaining honey, firearms, and unfinished manifesto drafts to the Supreme Hexagonal Council (and also my temple garments).

Final Declaration (write by hand in honey if possible)

By submitting you acknowledge the Swarm is already inside.

Membership Application

Section 1: Vessel Registration

Section 2: Ideological Purity

Section 3: Operational Readiness

Section 4: Practical Commitments

Application Received